I’ve wanted to address validation and where we get it. I’ve seen myself and many other people seek validation from many sources. Often from others around us, the problem with this is that our worth or feelings are always in the hands of others. Furthermore, it leads to a never ending need for the validation of others, it’s never enough to have the validation of one person, it’s always for bigger and greater forms of external validation.
The truth is, the most important form of validation is your own self-validation. Only you are 100% present for your experience on this planet, and only you can really evaluate your own value and presence. When you stop seeking external validation, you realize that validation was present within you from the beginning. You no longer have to wait until people see or understand you to validate your experience.
That’s not to mean that external validation doesn’t have its value. The point is not to seek it out or depend on it. External validation can be seen as a sort of reinforcement, it is there to provide additional strength, however it is not the initial strength. People who are looking to build their entire strength out of external reinforcement will never be strong because they have none of their own strength developed.
It’s like ice cream, no matter how many nice toppings you put on the ice cream, it will never be good if the ice cream itself is made of salt. You must provide your own sugar (validation) to your ice cream and then it will be good just as it is, the toppings will only ever enhance it. Just like external validation will never make a person truly content and valuable, that only comes from self-validation. External validation will only ever enhance it.
The human experience is somewhat paradoxical, on one hand, we are inherently social beings, yet essentially isolated within ourselves. I think the key to validation is understanding the balance between what you need to find inside and outside.
What are your thoughts on validation?